As Amazon’s Big Spring Sale sweeps the nation, millions of Americans have leapt at the once-in-a-quarter opportunity to purchase yet another smart speaker, with some shoppers reporting they now possess more Echo Dots than working electrical outlets. According to retail analysts, the average U.S. household contains 12.6 internet-connected sound-emitting objects, a number projected to reach 18 by the end of the sale, or 39 in homes with at least one child named Alexa.

“I didn’t know you could get the Echo Dot Max for $74.99 until this morning, but now my entire kitchen counter is just Dots stacked in a pyramid,” said Jeremy Philips, who expects his house to be upgraded to ‘Smart Fortress’ status by Sunday. “I’m not sure where the voices end and my internal monologue begins anymore. But at $25 off, who can say no?”

Amazon executives touted the sale’s success, with Vice President of Device Redundancy Marsha Kepley revealing, “By 2025, our goal is to ensure that Americans can speak to Alexa from every conceivable surface, including but not limited to their shoes.” Rival retailers scrambled to keep pace, with Best Buy offering identical discounts alongside a new feature: a Sonos rep who gently whispers product reviews directly into your ear, 24/7.

Local authorities have expressed growing concern as hundreds of Roombas and Deebot X8 Pro Omnis now allegedly outnumber area pets by a ratio of 3:1, leading to what officials call “minor territorial skirmishes.” Still, shoppers remain unphased. “Honestly, if my house gets any smarter, I’ll have to ask Alexa for permission to leave,” said Minneapolis resident Lydia Grant, “but at least I got the Tile Mate for $14.99, just in case I lose myself.”