NEW YORK—In a bold new compensation scheme unveiled this week, microchip firm Arm Holdings announced that CEO Rene Haas could personally pocket a billion-dollar fortune if he manages to turn the British firm into the UK’s first trillion-dollar company, single-handedly bend the laws of capitalism, and, for good measure, simultaneously prevent the next global semiconductor shortage.

Under the proposal, which analysts described as “inspired by Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket program,” Haas will receive a king’s ransom in annual share awards, plus a modest $800 million bonus if Arm achieves what internal documents call “exceptional, reality-bending growth metrics.”

“We wanted to set goals so ambitious, so delusional, that even Elon Musk might slide into our DMs and ask if we’re okay,” said Arm’s Head of Human Resources, Penelope Quibble. “If Rene can do the impossible, he’ll get a reward that makes Powerball winners look like they’re cashing in recycling.”

Haas, spotted doing pushups on a pile of Nvidia chips, declared, “I’m prepared to lead Arm into a future where every household appliance has our silicon—and your coffee maker weeps if you don’t buy the premium app.”

Skeptics, however, question the wisdom of linking leader compensation to “targets previously considered statistical hallucinations.” As one Arm engineer noted anonymously, “If these targets are hit, we’re either the world’s most valuable company, or Rene figured out a way for chips to grow on trees.”

Shareholders seemed enthusiastic, with one writing on the company’s investor forum: “If Haas makes a trillion-dollar company, he should get Buckingham Palace too.”