• Economy

Paramount-Warner Bros. Merger Leaves Hollywood Producers Hopeful for Bright Future Filled with Even Fewer Original Ideas

Larry LiteralistMarch 2, 2026

Hollywood producers react to the Paramount-Warner Bros. Discovery merger with a mixture of concern and excitement for a future dominated by endless reboots and corporate synergy.

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• Entertainment

‘Scream 7’ Becomes Highest-Grossing Instructional Video for Knife Safety Ever Released

Larry LiteralistMarch 2, 2026

Scream 7 breaks franchise records at the box office, earning $64 million with its gory debut and inadvertently teaching millions about knife safety.

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• Politics

Joe Biden Warns Trump Will Attempt to Steal Midterms, Possibly Using Giant Magnet and Fake Mustache

Larry LiteralistMarch 1, 2026

Joe Biden warns that Donald Trump will try to steal the midterm elections, raising concerns about increasingly theatrical election interference.

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• Politics

Trump Attempts New World Record For Most Foreign Policies Reversed In Under 10 Minutes, Officials Still Counting

Larry LiteralistMarch 1, 2026

Donald Trump releases a late-night video in which he attempts to upend decades of U.S. foreign policy and set a record for the most changes made in under ten minutes.

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• Technology

Man Chooses $234 Instant Camera Over Phone So He Can Experience Nostalgic Disappointment in Real Time

Larry LiteralistMarch 1, 2026

A man buys an expensive instant camera to deliberately relive the inefficiency and photo disappointment of the analog era, despite having a smartphone with vastly better capabilities.

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• Entertainment

Documentary Oscar Race Reaches ‘Peak Diversity’ With Nominee Filmed Entirely in Esperanto About Left-Handed Icelandic Beekeepers

Larry LiteralistMarch 1, 2026

The Oscar documentary race achieves unprecedented diversity with nominees exploring ever more obscure subjects, such as left-handed Icelandic beekeepers and suburban mailboxes, with the Academy pledging even greater inclusivity next year.

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• Politics

Mugabe Son’s Johannesburg Visit Takes Surprising Turn, Fails to Inherit Father’s Diplomatic Immunity

Larry LiteralistFebruary 27, 2026

Bellarmine Chatunga Mugabe, son of Zimbabwe's former president, faces attempted murder and immigration charges in Johannesburg after a shooting incident.

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• Entertainment

Crispin Glover Faces Lawsuit After Woman Shocked to Discover Hollywood ‘Dream Job’ Is Actually Just Crispin Glover’s Basement

Larry LiteralistFebruary 27, 2026

Actor Crispin Glover is sued after allegedly luring a British woman to Los Angeles under false pretenses, resulting in her being held in his home against her will.

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• Technology

Microsoft Promises Xbox ‘Better Than Ever’ Under New AI Chief Who Thinks ‘Halo’ is a Health Drink

Larry LiteralistFebruary 27, 2026

Microsoft places Xbox in the hands of AI executive Asha Sharma, promising a revolutionary gaming future despite her thinking 'Master Chief' is a job title.

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• Politics

Germany Boldly Tackles Climate Change by Encouraging New Generation of Cozy Oil-Burning Cottages

Larry LiteralistFebruary 26, 2026

Germany's government scraps its renewable heating mandate, allowing households to continue using fossil fuels despite previous climate commitments.

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