• Politics

Trump Proposes ‘Tariff Tuesdays’: Weekly Global Import Fee Accompanied by Reality Show Spin-Off

Larry LiteralistFebruary 25, 2026

President Trump launches a weekly import tariff initiative, causing global financial chaos and inspiring a trade war-themed reality show.

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• Politics

Trump Imposes 10% Tariff on Entire Planet After Supreme Court Ruling; Earth’s Leaders Reportedly ‘Confused’ and ‘Mildly Concerned’

Larry LiteralistFebruary 23, 2026

Trump announces a sweeping 10% tariff on the entire planet after a Supreme Court setback, leaving world leaders and advisors baffled as to how the global duty will actually be enforced.

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• Technology

AI Researchers Now Seeking Jobs That Offer More Existential Dread Than Stock Options

Larry LiteralistFebruary 20, 2026

AI companies are losing top researchers to existential dread, artistic pursuits, and promises of deeper philosophical crises rather than higher pay.

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• Politics

UK Grants Asylum to Notorious Mexican Socialite, Citing ‘Exceptional Skill in Creative Accounting’

Larry LiteralistFebruary 20, 2026

The UK has granted asylum to Karime Macías, ex-wife of a former Mexican governor accused of embezzlement, sparking a formal complaint from the Mexican government.

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• Politics

Texas GOP Hopeful Proudly Purchases Epstein’s Ranch, Vows To Restore ‘Traditional American Values’ To Scene Of International Scandal

Larry LiteralistFebruary 17, 2026

Texas Republican candidate Donald Huffines purchased Jeffrey Epstein’s New Mexico ranch, promising to revamp its reputation with traditional family events and a new name.

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• Politics

Billionaire Trump Donor Moves Plant Overseas To China In Powerful Stand Against Companies That Move Plants Overseas To China

Larry LiteralistFebruary 17, 2026

John Paulson, a billionaire Trump donor and vocal critic of offshoring, announced the closure of his Ohio plant and the move of production to China, sparking outrage among workers.

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• Sport

Pakistan ‘Permanently Ready’ to Play India, Team Hasn’t Slept Since 2012

Larry LiteralistFebruary 15, 2026

Pakistan’s cricket team confirms its permanent readiness for an India match, having reportedly stayed packed and awake for years in anticipation of each late fixture approval.

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• Technology

Groundbreaking AI Judge Now Decides Cases 40% Faster Than Human Judges, 200% More Likely to Misinterpret PDF Attachments

Larry LiteralistFebruary 13, 2026

The American Arbitration Association launches an AI-powered judge capable of settling construction disputes, raising hopes for faster rulings and new forms of legal confusion.

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• Sport

Manchester United Co-Owner Apologizes for Immigration Remarks, Clarifies He Meant ‘Colonized by Liverpool Fans’

Larry LiteralistFebruary 13, 2026

Manchester United co-owner Jim Ratcliffe apologized for controversial immigration remarks, clarifying he was actually referring to the influx of rival football fans in Manchester.

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• Economy

Israel Launches Bold Initiative To Solve West Bank Conflict By Making Everyone Else Angry Instead

Larry LiteralistFebruary 11, 2026

Israel announced new West Bank measures that sparked immediate and widespread international condemnation from major allies and the global community.

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