HANOVER, MD — In a rousing keynote address that critics are already calling “strangely reminiscent of a high school locker room at 3AM,” President Joe Biden electrified the Maryland Democratic gala Saturday night by calling Donald Trump “a loser” no fewer than 57 times. Analysts say this number is only slightly higher than the number of times Biden has asked where his ice cream is at similar events.

“Look, folks, let me be clear: Trump’s a loser,” Biden declared, pausing for effect and then repeating, “A loser. Loser. Looooser.” Sources close to the president stated he spent the following seven minutes describing various types of losers, including “the guy who forgets his lunch money” and “the fella who gets stuck in revolving doors.”

“I respect President Biden’s innovative approach,” said Democratic strategist Linda Malarkey. “Before tonight, most of our messaging focused on policy. Now, we’re just going with ‘loser’ and some light playground taunting. It’s really resonating—especially with the swing voters who still eat glue.”

The Republican National Committee, meanwhile, responded in a statement: “We thank President Biden for this constructive feedback and have instructed Mr. Trump to consider a rigorous self-improvement program, starting with reading an entire book.”

Gala attendee Frank Updike, 78, summarized audience sentiment: “After he called Trump a loser the 40th time, I realized I might also be a loser for paying $500 for this chicken dinner.”

At press time, Biden’s staff confirmed he had moved on to calling the dessert “a coward” for melting too quickly.