• Economy

US, Iran Celebrate Ceasefire Anniversary By Casually Bombing Each Other Near Strait of Hormuz

Veronica TruthbombJuly 9, 2026

The US and Iran once again exchange missile strikes near the Strait of Hormuz, further jeopardizing an already fragile ceasefire agreement.

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• Economy

Australia Not Technically In Recession, Just Experiencing Decade-Long Case Of ‘Mild Economic Ennui,’ Economists Confirm

Chester P. NonsenseJuly 8, 2026

Economists confirm Australia is not in recession, but instead faces a prolonged period of economic dullness with no real improvement for households.

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• Economy

Creator Economy Now Responsible for 85% of Global GDP, UTA Agents Announce at Cannes While Sipping $40,000 Rosé

Penny PunchlineJuly 7, 2026

The United Talent Agency Creators Division claims influencers have overtaken the global economy, replacing traditional business with non-stop branded content, follower counts, and $40,000 rosé.

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• Economy

Delivery Firm Evri Sues BBC for £1.2 Million in Lost Revenue, Plus Replacement Socks and Chocolates

Veronica TruthbombJuly 6, 2026

Delivery firm Evri is suing the BBC for £1.2 million, claiming a Panorama documentary damaged its reputation and cost it critical business contracts.

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• Economy

First Home Buyers Demand Houses Come With Free Therapy to Cope With Their Own Decision Making

Buck MulliganJuly 5, 2026

Australia's first home buyers are demanding houses come with free therapy to cope with the psychological burden of entering the property market, as market cooling fails to entice new entrants.

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• Economy

Australia’s Housing Market Enters Existential Crisis, Wonders If Anyone Will Ever Swipe Right Again

Penny PunchlineJuly 4, 2026

Australia’s property market is seeing plummeting demand from first home buyers and investors despite falling prices, signaling a dramatic shift in the housing landscape.

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• Economy

Australia Celebrates Record-Breaking Millionaire Boom By Printing Official ‘Middle Class Participation Certificate’

Chester P. NonsenseJuly 3, 2026

A new UBS report confirms Australia's median wealth is falling as the number of millionaires skyrockets, prompting officials to award 'Middle Class Participation Certificates' to the financially stagnant.

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• Economy

Southern Poverty Law Center Unveils Bold New Strategy: If You Can’t Beat Far-Right Extremists, Secretly Fund Them

Veronica TruthbombJuly 2, 2026

SPLC leaders are accused of secretly funneling millions to far-right extremists through bank shell accounts as part of a baffling new anti-hate strategy.

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• Economy

Illinois Announces ‘Psychic Tax’—Residents Now Owe 15% On Any Claim to Know the Future

Gloria HyperboleJuly 1, 2026

Illinois has implemented a new tax on all forms of prediction, prompting legal action and confusion from sports betting platforms and hopeful citizens alike.

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• Economy

Man Buys Weber, Achieves Absolute Power Over Grilling, Plans Hostile Takeover of Backyard Tongs Market

Penny PunchlineJune 30, 2026

Roger Dahle, CEO of the newly merged Weber Blackstone, consolidates grilling empires and vows to revolutionize outdoor cooking with ruthless efficiency, WiFi-enabled spatulas, and relentless brand integration.

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