• Sport

FIFA Launches Peace Prize, Enlists World’s Most Notorious Oligarchs to Bring Humanity Together

Larry LiteralistDecember 6, 2025

FIFA has announced a new Peace Prize overseen by a Myanmar junta-affiliated tycoon, with Donald Trump rumored as the first recipient and the awards ceremony set for international waters.

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• Sport

FIFA Announces Peace Prize, Entrusts Selection to Myanmar Arms Dealer Who Once Meditated for Three Minutes

Buck MulliganDecember 5, 2025

FIFA launches a new peace prize, with future winners to be chosen by a businessman close to Myanmar's junta, raising eyebrows about the award's independence.

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• Sport

Indie Horror Game ‘Horses’ Banned from All Major Platforms for Being ‘Too Unsettling,’ Still Allowed at Grandma’s House

Buck MulliganDecember 4, 2025

Indie horror game ‘Horses’ is banned by major online game stores for violating opaque policies, but finds unexpected success on GOG and at the developer’s grandmother’s house.

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• Sport

Russia Declares Triumphant ‘Capture’ Of Pokrovsk, Now Eyeing World Domination Via Empty Apartment Blocks

Penny PunchlineDecember 3, 2025

Russia announces the capture of Pokrovsk, touting it as a major victory despite ambiguity over the city’s actual significance.

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• Sport

Kentucky Football Coach Fired for Inaccurate Math Statement: Zero Percent Chance of Stepping Down Was Actually 100 Percent

Veronica TruthbombDecember 2, 2025

University of Kentucky fires football coach Mark Stoops for making a mathematically inaccurate claim about his job security.

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• Sport

Florida Gators Hire Tulane Coach Jon Sumrall, Announce New Policy to Pick Future Coaches Entirely at Random

Veronica TruthbombDecember 1, 2025

The Florida Gators have hired Tulane's Jon Sumrall as their new head football coach, reportedly using a random selection process after recent coaching disappointments.

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• Sport

Virginia High School Football Coach Attempts To Outrun Law And Linebackers Alike By Vanishing Into Woods With Gun

Gloria HyperboleNovember 30, 2025

A Virginia high school football coach disappeared into the woods with a firearm as police investigated him for child pornography allegations.

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• Sport

NFL Officials Introduce New ‘Oopsie Timeout’ Rule for Whenever Packers Get Confused

Larry LiteralistNovember 29, 2025

NFL officials grant the Green Bay Packers a timeout after an apparent false start, sparking debate over a new, unofficial 'Oopsie Timeout' rule.

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• Sport

NFL Experts Stunned as Player Makes Familiar Effortful Tackle, Prompting League to Consider Banning Hustle for Safety Reasons

Veronica TruthbombNovember 28, 2025

After Cowboys player Alijah Clark hustled to force a special teams turnover, NFL officials and analysts expressed shock and concern over such visible effort, prompting talks of banning hustle for player safety.

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• Sport

Virginia High School Surprised to Learn That Man Everyone Warned About Is Actually a Criminal

Buck MulliganNovember 27, 2025

A Virginia high school football coach accused of child pornography offenses disappears and is declared a fugitive, surprising a community that had long ignored persistent allegations.

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