• Technology

China Launches Urgent Probe Into U.S. Memory Chips After Discovering They Still Remember Everything

Chester P. NonsenseNovember 29, 2025

China initiated a cybersecurity probe into U.S. chipmaker Micron, expressing serious concerns that their memory chips might, in fact, be remembering things.

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• Technology

Campbell’s Fires Executive for Forgetting Company Policy: ‘Never Acknowledge Soup Is for Poor People’

Chester P. NonsenseNovember 28, 2025

Campbell Soup Company fired an executive for allegedly calling their products 'for poor people' and making disparaging remarks about Indian employees.

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• Technology

China Orders Micron to Hand Over All Thumb Drives, Old Floppy Disks In Sweeping Cybersecurity Probe

Chester P. NonsenseNovember 27, 2025

China has launched a broad cybersecurity investigation into U.S. chipmaker Micron Technology, demanding the company hand over all data storage devices and scrutinizing its technology for potential Western threats.

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• Technology

China Launches Cybersecurity Probe Into American Potato Chips After Confusing Micron Technology With Snack Brand

Larry LiteralistNovember 26, 2025

China has launched a cybersecurity investigation into US chipmaker Micron Technology, reportedly expanding the probe to include snack chips due to confusion over terminology amid escalating tech tensions.

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• Technology

Tech Companies Assure Public Their AI Only Reads Your Private Data When It’s Bored

Larry LiteralistNovember 25, 2025

Tech companies claim their AI only reads private user data out of boredom, downplaying privacy concerns.

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• Technology

China Launches Probe Into US Chipmaker, Discovers Terrifying Ability To Remember Things

Larry LiteralistNovember 24, 2025

China accuses US chipmaker Micron of dangerous memory skills, demanding chips forget information to ensure national security.

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• Technology

China Probes US Chipmaker for Cybersecurity Threat After Discovering Memory Chips Mysteriously Remember Things

Buck MulliganNovember 23, 2025

China investigates US chipmaker for 'remembering too much,' satirizing escalating tech paranoia.

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• Technology

China Launches Cybersecurity Probe to Confirm Micron Chips Are Not Secretly American Fortune Cookies

Chester P. NonsenseNovember 22, 2025

China suspects US memory chips hide secret fortune cookies, escalating tech tensions into snack-based absurdity.

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• Technology

Sydney Man Shocked to Learn ‘Menacing Messages’ to Politicians Not Considered ‘Constructive Feedback’

Penny PunchlineNovember 21, 2025

Australian man stunned after discovering that sending menacing messages to politicians is not, in fact, considered helpful civic participation.

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• Technology

China Launches Cybersecurity Probe After Realizing Micron Chips Aren’t ‘Micro’ Enough

Gloria HyperboleNovember 19, 2025

China retaliates against US tech restrictions by accusing Micron of failing to make their chips sufficiently 'micro,' launching a cybersecurity probe into chip size absurdity.

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