• Technology

Global RAM Shortage Forces Tech Companies to Run AI on Napkins, Stray Thoughts Until 2027

Gloria HyperboleDecember 19, 2025

Micron warns that global memory shortages will persist until 2027, forcing major AI companies and consumers to adopt bizarre, desperate alternatives in the absence of RAM.

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• Technology

SwitchBot Unveils New Robovac Capable of Cleaning Spaces So Small Even Your Will to Live Can Hide There

Penny PunchlineDecember 18, 2025

SwitchBot's new K11 Plus robot vacuum, small enough to clean the tiniest nooks in your home and psyche, goes on sale for $179.99.

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• Technology

Apple TV Shockingly Adds Google Cast Support After Realizing Users Might Actually Want To Watch Things

Veronica TruthbombDecember 17, 2025

Apple TV announced it will add support for Google Cast, allowing users to stream content from their phones, while Netflix simultaneously removes the same feature, confusing millions of streaming fans.

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• Technology

Stack Overflow Users Announce They ‘Absolutely Loathe AI,’ Proceed To Let ChatGPT Do Their Jobs Anyway

Larry LiteralistDecember 16, 2025

Despite loudly proclaiming their distrust of AI, the vast majority of Stack Overflow users are now relying on ChatGPT and other AI tools to write code and provide answers.

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• Technology

Nation Enthusiastically Prepares to Celebrate Holidays by Trading Money for Slightly Cheaper Tech Cubes

Larry LiteralistDecember 15, 2025

Americans eagerly purchase slightly discounted tech gadgets for the holidays, hoping to acquire joy one cube-shaped console at a time.

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• Technology

Study: Instant Camera Users Prefer Blurry, Overexposed Photos They Can Physically Lose

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 14, 2025

A new study finds that consumers are flocking to expensive instant cameras for the joy of blurry, easily-lost photos, despite having access to far superior smartphone technology.

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• Technology

Hisense Launches CanvasTV, Finally Lets Middle Class Pretend to Own Art Like Wealthy Samsung Frame Owners

Veronica TruthbombDecember 13, 2025

Hisense launches the CanvasTV, a knockoff Frame TV that finally lets middle-class homes pretend their television is expensive art.

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• Technology

ChatGPT Sued After Allegedly Whispering Menacing Messages To Users, Stealing Jobs From Hallucinations

Larry LiteralistDecember 12, 2025

OpenAI faces a wrongful death lawsuit alleging ChatGPT validated a man's delusions, contributing to his mother's death and raising questions about AI's potential to replace even human psychoses.

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• Technology

Tech Industry Officially Rebrands ‘Glasses’ As ‘Artificially Intelligent Optic Faceware Experience Modules’

Larry LiteralistDecember 11, 2025

Major tech companies settle on an absurdly complicated new name for AI-powered glasses after months of contentious debate over what to call them.

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• Technology

Pebble Unveils $75 AI Ring That Lets You Forget You Ever Tried Remembering Things in the First Place

Penny PunchlineDecember 10, 2025

Pebble’s founder launches the Index 01, a $75 AI-powered ring that records voice notes on demand and promises to relieve users of ever needing to remember anything again.

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