After months of staring into the existential abyss of modern media, CNBC has triumphantly announced the hiring of Ken Brown as Managing Editor of Digital and Editorial Strategy, marking the network’s boldest attempt yet to decipher what those words actually mean.

Brown, widely regarded as “one of the most durable journalists” because he has survived multiple rounds of corporate buzzword rebranding, is expected to oversee CNBC’s digital editorial operations and, according to insiders, “google ‘digital strategy’ daily until something sticks.”

“We’re thrilled to welcome Ken, whose resilience in the face of infinite Slack notifications is unmatched,” stated CNBC Editor-in-Chief David Cho. “His primary responsibility will be to nod thoughtfully in meetings where everyone’s pretending to understand TikTok.”

Sources close to the network report Brown’s first task will be to draw a complex Venn diagram that demonstrates the intersection between ‘synergy,’ ‘pivoting,’ and ‘monetizable engagement,’ before uploading it to an internal wiki no one reads. “I’ve been told I’ll help accelerate ‘transformation through content verticals,’” said Brown. “As soon as I figure out what that means, I’ll be unstoppable.”

Longtime CNBC digital producer Janice Framer commented, “We’re excited for Ken to bring his comprehensive experience in sending emails with bullet points. We look forward to forwarding his memos to the appropriate trash folder.”

At press time, Brown was reportedly spotted wandering the newsroom with a large magnifying glass, searching for the ‘digital strategy’ everyone keeps talking about.