HEBRON, WEST BANK—During a fact-finding mission gone awry, U.S. Representative Ro Khanna (D-CA) was briefly detained by a group of armed Israeli settlers last Wednesday, after being mistakenly identified as a suspiciously progressive camel wandering the area without proper permits.

Khanna, known for his vocal support of human rights and dangerously vibrant windbreaker, reportedly alarmed settlers in the southern West Bank village of At-Tuwani. “We had no choice,” said Shlomo Ben-David, leader of the local Neighborhood Safety and Occasional Foreign Dignitary Apprehension Committee. “He looked like he was about to introduce a bipartisan resolution to our livestock. That’s not a risk we’re willing to take.”

According to eyewitnesses, the settlers—armed exclusively with U.S.-made weapons and a copy of ‘Diplomacy for Dummies’—ordered Khanna and his delegation to halt. “At first I thought it was a surprise congressional welcome party, but the zip ties gave it away,” Khanna said in a statement. “Still, I appreciated the gesture.”

The Israel Defense Forces, contacted for assistance, reportedly responded, “We’re legally obligated to intervene in all situations unless a congressman, journalist, or anyone holding hummus is involved.”

“Frankly, we were on high alert ever since Bernie Sanders tried to explain Medicare for All to our sheep,” added settler spokesperson Yael Migron. “The trauma still lingers.”

Khanna was ultimately released after settlers determined he posed no immediate threat to the local falafel stand, but was warned against future diplomatic missions while wearing anything ‘remotely woke.’