DETROIT—In a development both thrilling and mildly concerning to the world’s wealthiest men suffering existential dread, Chevrolet’s new Corvette ZR1X hybrid has been confirmed to outperform several million-dollar sports cars for only a fraction of the price. This breakthrough now allows aging dentists and recently-divorced real estate agents to experience 0-60 in 2.4 seconds without refinancing their ex-wife’s house.

“Frankly, the whole point of owning a supercar is reminding everyone you have more money than taste,” said Chad Bronzeman, who describes himself as a ‘wealth influencer.’ “Now that you can buy this kind of speed for under $200,000, how am I supposed to flex on my neighbors with a Pagani Huayra?”

Automotive experts warn of an imminent crisis in Italian sports car dealerships, as previously invincible brands like Ferrari and Lamborghini scramble to justify their $1.3 million price tags. “Our customers see this and say, ‘Why am I paying for Bluetooth leather seat vents when I could have American horsepower and cup holders?’” confessed Enzo Frappuccino, an alleged Lamborghini salesman. “It’s terrifying.”

Meanwhile, Porsche and Lamborghini have retreated from costly electric models, citing technical challenges and the fact that their average customer just wants a loud engine to drown out his own thoughts. “If I can’t wake up the entire neighborhood at 6 AM just by starting my car, then what’s the point?” explained Corvette enthusiast Dale ‘Thunderguts’ McAllister while revving his new ZR1X in a suburban cul-de-sac.

At press time, GM confirmed that, for an additional $10,000, the ZR1X could also come with an optional feature that pours a glass of bourbon whenever you get cut off by a Tesla.