WASHINGTON—In the wake of a Supreme Court decision upholding birthright citizenship, former president Donald Trump announced Thursday his intention to abolish the 14th Amendment by presenting Congress with what he described as an “even bigger Sharpie.”

“Clearly, the Constitution wasn’t written with my presidency in mind,” Trump declared at a hastily organized press conference in the lobby of Trump Tower, unfurling a three-foot-long permanent marker. “If the Supreme Court won’t let me sign executive orders in Sharpie, I’ll just cross out whatever I want and write in ‘No more birthright stuff.’ That’s how it works now.”

Republican lawmakers offered measured support. “We’ve always respected the Constitution,” said Rep. Louie Franklin (R-KS), “but it’s getting really old, and a lot of the ink is faded. A fresh Sharpie could really modernize things.”

Legal scholars expressed concern about the plan. “This is not how amendments work,” said constitutional law professor Margo Zimmer, “but then again, I’ve never had to clarify that before.”

As part of his new initiative, Trump also promised to ‘fix’ other parts of the Constitution with what aides referred to as “Magna Carta Correction Fluid.” When asked whether any of this was legally feasible, Trump campaign spokesperson Sandy Glibb replied, “Absolutely. If we can Sharpie over a hurricane, we can Sharpie over an amendment.”

At press time, office supply stores across the Beltway reported a suspicious surge in extra-large marker sales.