WASHINGTON—Following concerns about President Donald Trump’s fourth hospital visit in his second term, the White House on Tuesday released a reassuring medical memo declaring Trump’s recent lower leg swelling and hand bruising clear symptoms of ‘excellent health and never-before-seen presidential vigor.’

Dr. Sean Barbabella, Trump’s official physician, insisted there was nothing amiss: “The President’s body simply contains more leadership than the average veins can transport—hence the swelling. His legs are surging with energy and executive action.” Barbabella’s memo also pointed to ‘benign’ hand bruises traced back to what aides called ‘overexuberant golf clapping’ and ‘vigorous cheeseburger consumption.’

“We’re seeing classic alpha-male physiology,” said White House wellness consultant Dawn McCready. “Frankly, the swelling is a testament to his unyielding willpower pooling in the lower extremities. Most Americans could only dream of legs so full of resolve.”

Meanwhile, White House Press Secretary Brenda Flap dismissed speculation about the repeated hospital trips, explaining, “It’s simply routine preventive care designed to prolong his record-breaking athletic dominance. Frankly, medical science is struggling to keep up with the President’s needs.”

Asked about rumors of Mr. Trump’s sudden craving for elastic shoes and his tendency to sign documents with both hands at once, Dr. Barbabella clarified, “These are just further indications of a leader operating at the razor’s edge of human performance.”

The president reportedly plans to celebrate his new bill of health by taking on the White House stairs two at a time, as soon as the swelling subsides.