• Technology

Experts Warn: Nothing Says ‘I Love You’ Like Discounted Tech Gadgets Approved by Media You’ve Never Read

Buck MulliganFebruary 8, 2026

Tech reviewers recommend discounted gadgets as ideal romantic gifts for Valentine’s Day, ensuring couples can express their love through Bluetooth-enabled devices and robot vacuums.

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• Politics

Nation Shocked as Trump Accidentally Posts Racist Obama Video While Searching for ‘Funny Cat Memes’

Buck MulliganFebruary 7, 2026

Donald Trump posted a racist video about the Obamas, sparking bipartisan condemnation and confusion over his social media habits.

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• Technology

Reality Formally Concedes Defeat to Deepfakes, Begins Rebranding as ‘Legacy Content’

Buck MulliganFebruary 6, 2026

Reality has officially surrendered to deepfakes, choosing to rebrand as 'Legacy Content' while tech companies scramble to label what's real, possibly, maybe.

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• Technology

Apple iPad Mini Now Perfect Size for Consumers Who Hate Commitment, But Love Overspending

Buck MulliganFebruary 4, 2026

Apple temporarily slashes the price of the iPad Mini, delighting consumers seeking a device that's neither a phone nor a tablet, but still costs almost as much as both.

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• Politics

Trump Administration Unveils ‘Coalie The Lump’ As New White House Press Secretary Amid Push For ‘Kinder, Friendlier Pollution’

Buck MulliganFebruary 4, 2026

The Trump administration has introduced a cartoon coal mascot, 'Coalie,' as the new face of its pro-coal energy policy, appointing it to communicate the benefits of fossil fuels to the public.

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• Politics

Senate Heroically Prevents Collapse of Homeland Security, But Only for Two Weeks, Because That’s How Long Democracy Can Focus

Buck MulliganFebruary 1, 2026

The Senate passes a federal budget that funds everything except Homeland Security, giving DHS a two-week extension to avoid a shutdown while negotiations continue.

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• Technology

Nation’s Economy Officially Runs on $5 Discounts and LEGO Roses, Experts Confirm

Buck MulliganFebruary 1, 2026

Americans are now sustaining the economy by chasing insignificant tech discounts, assembling LEGO flowers, and endlessly exploiting free streaming trials.

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• Technology

Google AI Unveils Groundbreaking Technology Capable of Generating Legally Ambiguous, Unplayable Video Games in Seconds

Buck MulliganJanuary 30, 2026

Google's new Project Genie AI allows users to create hilariously dysfunctional and barely recognizable knockoffs of popular Nintendo video games.

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• Politics

Trump Moves US Armada to Iran, Promises War Will Be ‘Big, Beautiful, and Probably Confusing’

Buck MulliganJanuary 30, 2026

President Trump orders a massive US naval armada toward Iran while delivering mixed messages about his intentions, leaving military officials and allies confused about the next steps.

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• Politics

Australian Immigration Contractor Excited to Bring Award-Winning Negligence to Both Hemispheres

Buck MulliganJanuary 30, 2026

Australia's main immigration detention contractor, MTC, is awarded government contracts despite a history of alleged negligence in both Australian and U.S. migrant facilities.

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