• Politics

Trump Celebrates ‘Giant Step for Border Security’ by Releasing Convicted Drug Kingpin in Exchange for ‘Really Tremendous’ Election Vibes in Honduras

Gloria HyperboleDecember 3, 2025

Donald Trump pardons Honduran ex-president and convicted drug trafficker Juan Orlando Hernández, releasing him from U.S. prison just as a close Honduran election hangs in the balance.

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• Politics

Court Shocked to Discover Trump’s Lawyer Had No Idea She Was Running New Jersey’s Federal Prosecutor Office

Veronica TruthbombDecember 2, 2025

An appeals court has ruled that Alina Habba, Trump’s former lawyer, is disqualified from serving as New Jersey’s top federal prosecutor after discovering she lacks the necessary legal experience.

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• Politics

Trump Nominates Fox Host as Secretary of Defense, Denies Ordering Second Strike on ‘Suspiciously Wet Boat’

Buck MulliganDecember 2, 2025

In a bizarre turn, Trump endorsed Fox's Pete Hegseth for Defense Secretary while denying he ordered a second strike on a suspicious boat, as the Pentagon insists Hegseth lacks authority to deploy anything but opinions.

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• Politics

Kathy Griffin Reunites America By Becoming First Human Bridge Between Liberals and Trumpers, Announces Groundbreaking ‘Bloody Photo Forgiveness Tour’

Gloria HyperboleDecember 2, 2025

Comedian Kathy Griffin announces she has befriended Trump supporters and will launch a national tour focused on forgiveness and unity after her infamous 2017 Trump photo controversy.

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• Politics

Trump Issues Dire Warning to Honduran Voters: ‘Wrong Choice Means No More Aid, No More Big Macs’

Buck MulliganDecember 1, 2025

President Trump threatens to cut U.S. aid to Honduras if his preferred candidate Nasry 'Tito' Asfura loses the national election, leading to confusion, anxiety, and sudden surges in fast food purchases among Honduran voters.

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• Politics

Kai Trump Reveals Secret to Surviving Internet Trolls: ‘Inherited Unshakable Self-Esteem, Plus Muting Half the Country’

Penny PunchlineDecember 1, 2025

Kai Trump explains that she deals with negative social media comments through unwavering self-confidence, a supportive family, and selectively blocking critics.

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• Politics

DHS Unveils ‘Self-Policing Toolkit’ Featuring Mirror, Shrug Emoji, and Bag of Shrugs

Veronica TruthbombDecember 1, 2025

The Department of Homeland Security dismantles its civil rights watchdog division, replacing oversight with a 'Self-Policing Toolkit' that encourages agents to reflect by shrugging at complaints.

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• Politics

Trump Vows To Undo All Biden Autopen Executive Orders, Citing National Emergency Over ‘Robot President’

Chester P. NonsenseNovember 30, 2025

Donald Trump pledges to revoke all executive orders signed by President Biden's autopen, warning Americans about the rise of 'robot president' governance.

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• Politics

Trump Administration Announces ‘Opposite Day’ Cabinet: Election Deniers to Lead Election Integrity, Foxes Eyed for Henhouse Security Roles

Penny PunchlineNovember 30, 2025

Prominent individuals who previously tried to overturn the 2020 U.S. election are now leading key federal roles in election oversight and civil rights offices.

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• Politics

Wasserman Schultz Attributes All 2024 Crimes To Trump, Cites ‘Unmatched Destructive Energy Field’

Veronica TruthbombNovember 30, 2025

Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz blames former President Trump for a National Guard shooting in Washington, D.C., citing his 'metaphysical aura,' while sparing President Biden of any responsibility.

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