• Politics

Federal Judge Demands Sworn Testimony From Trump Officials, Unconvinced ‘We Forgot Court Order’ Counts As Legal Defense

Buck MulliganNovember 19, 2025

Judge demands sworn testimony after Trump officials claim 'forgetting a court order' as a legal defense for mass deportations.

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• Politics

Nicki Minaj Appointed UN Crisis Ambassador, Expected to Solve Nigerian Conflict with ‘Super Bass’ Remix

Gloria HyperboleNovember 19, 2025

Nicki Minaj is satirically appointed to resolve the Nigerian Christian crisis at the UN, relying on her musical fame and social media activism.

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• Politics

Saudi Delegation Pledges Not To Spy On Twitter Critics During US Visit, Will ‘Just Use Instagram Instead’

Gloria HyperboleNovember 19, 2025

Saudi aides accused of spying on Twitter critics pledge to surveil dissenters using other social media apps during US trip.

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• Politics

Trump Offers Saudi Prince Lifetime Platinum Rewards Card, Free Murder Coverups with Every 10th Investment

Penny PunchlineNovember 19, 2025

Trump downplays Khashoggi murder while hilariously offering Saudi Crown Prince perks for continued investment, blending business deals with casual coverups.

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• Politics

Trump Launches New ‘Attack a Judge’ Rewards Program, Cites Need for ‘Frequent Critic Miles’

Gloria HyperboleNovember 19, 2025

Trump responds to legal troubles by launching a satirical customer loyalty program that rewards supporters for insulting judges and their families.

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• Politics

Chile’s Election Down To Ultraconservative Trump Impersonator Versus Communist, Nation Eager To See Which Decade It’s Returning To

Larry LiteralistNovember 19, 2025

Chile’s presidential election ignites nostalgia battle as citizens must choose between a Trump-style ultraconservative and an old-school Communist, with the winner promising a return to a vintage decade.

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• Politics

GOP Now Demands Epstein Files Be Released ‘Only If They’re Printed in Comic Sans and Redacted With Lisa Frank Stickers’

Penny PunchlineNovember 19, 2025

Republicans now advocate for releasing Epstein files only if they’re absurdly redacted and censored in a way that protects their interests.

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• Politics

Trump Orders Epstein Investigation To Focus On Other People Named Epstein, Just To Be Safe

Veronica TruthbombNovember 19, 2025

Trump redirects the Epstein investigation to focus on unrelated people named Epstein in a transparent attempt to avoid real scrutiny.

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• Politics

FDA Approves New Drug for People Who Need to Feel Like They Did Something Today

Larry LiteralistNovember 17, 2025

FDA approves a new pill that makes people feel productive without doing anything, satirizing modern society's obsession with superficial achievement.

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• Politics

Nation’s Largest Pothole Officially Recognized as National Park, Receives $5 Billion in Funding

Gloria HyperboleNovember 17, 2025

Congress designates Cleveland’s largest pothole as a national park, complete with funding and tourist attractions.

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