• Technology

Sam Altman Reveals Elon Musk’s Unique Management Style Involved Hunger Games, Occasional Flamethrower Usage

Penny PunchlineMay 13, 2026

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman testifies that Elon Musk’s chaotic management style, including ranking researchers and chainsaw metaphors, harmed company morale and research culture.

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• Technology

Journalist Proves Humanity by Surviving Year With Humanoid Robots, AI Boyfriend, and Cooking Appliance that Cannot Be Reasoned With

Penny PunchlineMay 12, 2026

Tech journalist Joanna Stern survived a year living with household AI and robots, resulting in a new book, a traumatized family, and a kitchen robot that doubled as a modern art installation.

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• Technology

Nation’s Children Unite in Collective ‘Oops’ as Last-Minute Digital Gift Cards Prepare to Save Mother’s Day Yet Again

Chester P. NonsenseMay 11, 2026

With physical gifts out of reach, millions of Americans turn to last-minute digital gift cards and subscriptions in a desperate attempt to salvage Mother’s Day.

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• Technology

Americans Asked to Power AI Data Centers by Pedaling Giant Hamster Wheels in Local Parks

Gloria HyperboleMay 10, 2026

Millions of Americans will soon be recruited to pedal giant hamster wheels to help power energy-hungry AI data centers and address concerns over rising electricity bills.

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• Technology

Google Fitbit Air Preorders Now Include Exciting Possibility of Owning Two Unworn Fitness Bands

Buck MulliganMay 9, 2026

Google's Fitbit Air preorders now come with a complimentary second band, offering consumers an unprecedented opportunity to own an additional band they'll never wear.

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• Technology

Elon Musk Sues OpenAI for Not Saving Humanity in the Way He Personally Imagined After Reading Three Sci-Fi Novels

Gloria HyperboleMay 8, 2026

Elon Musk’s lawsuit against OpenAI accuses the company of betraying its original mission to benefit humanity—by not following Musk’s entirely unshared personal vision for how that should occur.

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• Technology

Elon Musk Sues OpenAI for Betraying Sacred Nonprofit Vow, Demands Reparations in Dogecoin, Memes

Veronica TruthbombMay 7, 2026

Elon Musk sues OpenAI and Sam Altman, accusing them of abandoning their nonprofit mission and demanding billions in damages as the courtroom devolves into a high-stakes tech soap opera.

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• Technology

Musk v. Altman Courtroom Descends Into Bizarre Game of Billionaire ‘AI Monopoly’

Larry LiteralistMay 6, 2026

Elon Musk and Sam Altman’s court battle over OpenAI spiraled into a chaotic spectacle marked by tech rivalry, eccentric testimony, and the occasional attempt to buy the courthouse with cryptocurrency.

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• Technology

Uber CEO Announces Plan to Replace All Drivers, Employees, and Himself With One Massive AI Cluster Named ‘Uber Chad’

Penny PunchlineMay 5, 2026

Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi unveils a plan to replace all drivers, employees, and even himself with an advanced AI system to streamline company operations.

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• Technology

New Aura Aspen Photo Frame Allows Families To Instantly Share Crushing Disappointments In Vivid HD

Chester P. NonsenseMay 4, 2026

Aura releases the Aspen digital photo frame, enabling families to instantly and remotely display humiliating or disappointing photos in high definition, ensuring no memory—good or bad—goes unshared.

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