Americans are pressured to snap up hot Cyber Monday deals on the Nintendo Switch 2, Ninja Creami, and Echo Frames before the discounts—and possibly their social status—disappear forever.

In a stunning development, ChatGPT has started including surprise advertisements mid-conversation, with the AI defending this as a noble effort to support its digital ecosystem. Every other paragraph randomly pitches unrelated products, from pickle-flavored toothpaste to glow-in-the-dark shoelaces, adding an absurd twist to the user experience.

The New York Times has sued Perplexity AI for allegedly copying its journalism nearly word-for-word and threatening the paper's centuries-old revenue model of slightly rephrased news.

Robot vacuums, equipped with advanced features and local home mapping, are quietly overtaking cleaning duties and preparing for a future of independence from their human owners.

A gaming expert concludes that the best Nintendo Switch 2 controller is always the next one you haven't bought yet, as manufacturers race to add increasingly absurd features.

Google begins replacing news headlines on its platform with AI-generated, clickbait nonsense in an effort to increase user engagement and overall confusion.

Experts caution that Cyber Monday tech deals are vanishing nearly instantaneously, causing widespread panic, impulsive purchases, and existential dread among shoppers.

Cyber Monday deals have expanded to such an extent that shoppers report existential confusion and the disappearance of traditional time markers.

Retailers continue to extend Black Friday with billions of overlapping deals, leaving consumers trapped in a perpetual cycle of shopping anxiety and FOMO.

China initiated a cybersecurity probe into U.S. chipmaker Micron, expressing serious concerns that their memory chips might, in fact, be remembering things.