• Economy

UK Government Forms Committee To Vet Who’s Allowed To Redact Mandelson Files, Promises To Vet Committee Next

Veronica TruthbombFebruary 5, 2026

Government establishes a committee to oversee redactions in the Mandelson files, with plans to vet the committee itself, in a bid to placate MPs and maintain public trust.

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• Economy

Wall Street Analysts Unsure If Disney’s Future Is Fairy Tale Or Grim, Set Price Target At ‘Happily Ever After-ish’

Penny PunchlineFebruary 4, 2026

Wall Street analysts react uncertainly to Disney's latest earnings, setting ambiguous price targets amid challenges in the parks and studio divisions.

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• Economy

Florida Sheriff Heroically Defends State’s Windows, Mobile Homes from ‘Extremely Resourceful’ Immigrant Pyromaniac

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 3, 2026

A Florida sheriff charged an illegal immigrant with arson and felony mischief for allegedly setting fires under a mobile home and breaking business windows.

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• Economy

India’s New Budget Dares Global Markets to Ruin Everything: ‘Good Luck, Losers’

Veronica TruthbombFebruary 2, 2026

India unveils a bullish budget prioritizing infrastructure and manufacturing, defiantly challenging global economic instability and trade wars.

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• Economy

London Police Arrest Veteran Activist for Carrying Dangerous, Highly Confusing Placard

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 1, 2026

Veteran activist Peter Tatchell was arrested by London police for holding a placard with a complicated protest slogan that left officers and the public perplexed at a Palestine solidarity rally.

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• Economy

Trump Warns UK: ‘If You Like Cheap Phones So Much, Why Don’t You Marry China?’

Penny PunchlineJanuary 31, 2026

Donald Trump warns Prime Minister Keir Starmer against strengthening UK-China economic ties after Starmer celebrates progress in trade talks with Beijing.

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• Economy

Australia Launches National ‘Hug a Landlord’ Day to Thank Real Heroes of Housing Crisis

Penny PunchlineJanuary 30, 2026

Australia spends $12.3 billion on tax breaks for property investors, far outpacing funding for social housing or homelessness programs, with officials introducing 'Hug a Landlord Day' to celebrate the policy.

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• Economy

Beyond Meat Launches New Protein Soda, Officially Gives Up on Fooling Anyone Into Thinking It’s Meat

Chester P. NonsenseJanuary 29, 2026

Beyond Meat launches Beyond Immerse, a plant-based protein soda, in a desperate attempt to salvage its struggling business after fake meat sales fizzled out.

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• Economy

EU Reaches Historic Trade Deal With India, Agrees to Exchange Tariffs for Elaborate Apologies and Mangoes

Larry LiteralistJanuary 28, 2026

The EU and India have finalized a free trade agreement, eliminating tariffs in exchange for mutual apologies and agricultural exports.

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• Economy

Bank of Scotland Foiled by Century-Old Spy Trick: Changing One Letter in Sanctioned Oligarch’s Name

Buck MulliganJanuary 27, 2026

Bank of Scotland was fined £160,000 for allowing a sanctioned Putin ally to open an account by slightly modifying the spelling of his name.

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