• Economy

Australia Shocked to Discover Houses Are for Living in, Not Just Passive Income Machines

Chester P. NonsenseMay 12, 2026

The Albanese government plans tax reforms to refocus homes as shelter rather than investment assets, provoking investor outrage but experts claim the apocalypse is unlikely.

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• Economy

White House Economist Projects U.S. GDP Growth Will Soon Be Measured In ‘Laughter and Fist Bumps’

Penny PunchlineMay 11, 2026

White House economist Kevin Hassett projects U.S. GDP growth could surpass 5% due to a capital spending boom fueled by tax policy changes and onshoring initiatives.

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• Economy

Bank Finally Accepts Skeleton As Proof Of Death; Demands ‘Original Bones, Not Photocopies’

Penny PunchlineMay 10, 2026

After being denied access to his deceased sister’s bank account, a man in India brought her remains to the bank as proof of death, highlighting bureaucratic absurdities.

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• Economy

West Bank Family Sets World Record for Most Consecutive Generations Asked ‘Have You Tried Just Moving?’

Larry LiteralistMay 9, 2026

The Masallam family continues to resist pressure to leave their ancestral home in the West Bank, reportedly setting a world record for generational persistence.

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• Economy

Whirlpool CEO Claims Americans Can’t Buy Toasters Unless Middle East Is at Peace

Veronica TruthbombMay 8, 2026

Whirlpool blames declining US appliance sales on the Iran war, raising prices while Americans cite global conflict as the main reason they're still using unreliable toasters.

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• Economy

Billionaire Outraged After ‘Tax the Rich’ Slogan Hurts His Feelings, Demands Emotional Compensation

Chester P. NonsenseMay 7, 2026

Billionaire Steve Roth equates 'tax the rich' to hate speech and demands greater empathy for multi-millionaire second-home owners after New York proposes a luxury property tax.

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• Economy

Man in Slightly Rude Shirt Arrested for Attempted Comedy Outside Royal Commission, Public Remains Safe from Mild Amusement

Veronica TruthbombMay 7, 2026

A man was arrested outside a Royal Commission venue for wearing a mildly offensive t-shirt, prompting swift action from authorities to prevent public exposure to questionable humor.

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• Economy

Indian Bank Unveils New ‘Corpse Deposit’ Policy After Customer Delivers Proof of Death in Person

Penny PunchlineMay 6, 2026

A man in Odisha brings his deceased sister's remains to a bank after being denied access to her funds without proof of death, highlighting India's rigid bureaucracy.

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• Economy

Australian Property Investors Celebrate New Record: ‘Even Negative Equity Can’t Stop Us Now’

Chester P. NonsenseMay 5, 2026

Australian property investors increased borrowing at the fastest rate in a decade, undeterred by rising interest rates and policy uncertainty.

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• Economy

RBA Battles Inflation With Third Interest Rate Hike, Encourages Australians To ‘Try Not Buying Anything, Ever’

Chester P. NonsenseMay 4, 2026

The Reserve Bank is expected to raise interest rates for the third time in a row, despite admitting it has no real way to affect soaring oil prices or most inflation.

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