• Economy

RBA Battles Inflation With Third Interest Rate Hike, Encourages Australians To ‘Try Not Buying Anything, Ever’

Chester P. NonsenseMay 4, 2026

The Reserve Bank is expected to raise interest rates for the third time in a row, despite admitting it has no real way to affect soaring oil prices or most inflation.

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• Economy

Indian Bank Adds ‘Physical Remains’ Option to List of Accepted Death Certificates

Penny PunchlineMay 3, 2026

A man in India brought his deceased sister's remains to the bank to prove her death after being denied access to her funds, prompting the bank to introduce a policy accepting physical evidence as proof.

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• Economy

FOX Announces ‘Marriage Market’: Singles Encouraged To Let Meddling Relatives Choose Their Spouses On Live TV

Gloria HyperboleMay 2, 2026

FOX will launch 'Marriage Market,' a reality dating show where singles let their families arrange their marriages, hosted by Whitney Cummings.

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• Economy

Reform Fatally Wounded by ‘Grandfathering’ Clause, Dies of Old Age in Committee

Penny PunchlineMay 1, 2026

Australia’s proposed capital gains tax and negative gearing reforms will be so delayed by 'grandfathering' that meaningful budget repair is projected to arrive sometime after civilization ends.

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• Economy

Governor Walz Heroically Avoids Accountability by Hiding in Janitor’s Closet During Fraud Hearing

Chester P. NonsenseApril 30, 2026

Governor Tim Walz avoided attending a key fraud hearing by reportedly hiding in the Capitol despite being in the building for other business.

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• Economy

UAE Storms Out of OPEC After 60 Years, Leaves Angry Breakup Texts and Cancels Group Netflix Account

Buck MulliganApril 29, 2026

The United Arab Emirates has abruptly left OPEC after 60 years, creating turmoil among oil producers and weakening the influential group.

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• Economy

Avex Music Group Accidentally Buys Entire Pop Catalog After CEO Clicks ‘Add to Cart All’ Button

Gloria HyperboleApril 28, 2026

Avex Music Group unveils a $100 million plan to buy up music catalogs globally, starting with 'Lose Control,' as part of their mission to own every song that could ever possibly exist.

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• Economy

Albanese Declares Australia’s True National Anthem Is the Soothing Hum of Gas Pipelines

Chester P. NonsenseApril 27, 2026

Prime Minister Albanese rejects a proposed gas export tax, prompting accusations from critics that his government is excessively prioritizing gas industry interests.

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• Economy

Albanese Promises Gas Companies Unlimited Hugs, Free Handshakes, and Absolutely No Extra Taxes

Veronica TruthbombApril 26, 2026

The Albanese government rejects a proposed gas export tax, pledging unwavering support, affection, and zero new levies for the gas industry.

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• Economy

Bank Of England Warns Stock Market Now Taller Than Actual Bank, Demands Investors Come Down From Ledge

Veronica TruthbombApril 25, 2026

The Bank of England's deputy governor has warned that the stock markets have become unsustainably high, urging investors to prepare for an imminent drop.

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