• Politics

Trump Unveils Bold New Strategy: Calls for Europe to Increase ‘Racism Output’ to Defend Itself from Global Threats

Buck MulliganDecember 10, 2025

Donald Trump proposes a new US security doctrine urging European nations to combat perceived weakness by dramatically increasing their racism and divisiveness.

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• Politics

South Africa’s Afrikaners Now Considered Most Oppressed Group Ever, Surpassing Harry Potter Fans Post-Book 7

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 10, 2025

South African President Cyril Ramaphosa warns that baseless claims of Afrikaner persecution, amplified by Donald Trump and others, are threatening the nation’s stability.

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• Politics

Tufts Student’s Visa Revoked After Research Deemed ‘Too Interesting,’ Federal Agents Cite Dangerous Levels of Student Participation

Penny PunchlineDecember 10, 2025

A Tufts PhD student from Turkey is allowed to resume her research and teaching after a federal judge overturned the Trump administration’s revocation of her visa following her pro-Palestinian activism.

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• Politics

Supreme Court Debates Whether President Can Fire Literally Anyone, Including Rival FTC Members and Oddly Surly Baristas

Buck MulliganDecember 9, 2025

The Supreme Court hears arguments about whether President Trump had the authority to fire an FTC member, raising questions about the limits of presidential power.

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• Politics

Ex-Honduran President Thanks God, Trump, and Also TSA Agent Steve for Drug-Trafficking Pardon

Larry LiteralistDecember 9, 2025

Former Honduran president Juan Orlando Hernández publicly thanks God, Donald Trump, and a random TSA agent for his recent drug trafficking pardon.

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• Politics

Reform UK Denies ‘Creative Accounting’ After Expenses for Farage’s Campaign Include £4 Million for ‘Broken Brexit Promises’ Repairs

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 9, 2025

Police investigate Reform UK after allegations the party filed bizarre and possibly false campaign expenses during Nigel Farage’s parliamentary run in Clacton.

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• Politics

EPA Unveils ‘Toxins For Tots’ Program, Prompting Outrage From Make America Healthy Again Movement

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 8, 2025

The Make America Healthy Again movement calls for EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin's resignation after the Trump administration aggressively rolls back toxic chemical regulations, sparking a feud over environmental policy.

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• Politics

Trump Shocked To Learn Presidential Pardons Do Not Come With Complimentary MAGA Starter Pack

Penny PunchlineDecember 8, 2025

Donald Trump expressed outrage after pardoned Democrat Henry Cuellar declined to join the Republican Party, revealing Trump's belief that clemency should come with guaranteed party loyalty.

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• Politics

German Armsmaker Thanks Trump for ‘Thoughts and Prayers’—and $20 Billion in Tank Orders

Larry LiteralistDecember 8, 2025

German arms manufacturer Rheinmetall reports soaring profits and a new gold-plated tank line thanks to NATO defense spending increases inspired by Donald Trump.

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• Politics

Trump Administration Announces Plan To Officially Classify Immigrants As ‘Clutter’ In White House Inventory System

Larry LiteralistDecember 7, 2025

President Trump proposes a new system labeling immigrants as 'clutter' in White House records, further escalating anti-immigrant language.

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