• Politics

Israel, Lebanon Officials Agree to Meet in Same Building, Possibly Acknowledge Each Other’s Existence

Larry LiteralistMay 30, 2026

Israeli and Lebanese officials will convene in the same building and potentially acknowledge each other's presence, while a federal judge upholds Trump's order restricting mail-in voting to carrier pigeons.

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• Politics

Trump Announces Groundbreaking Iran Peace Deal, Iran Politely Asks, ‘Deal? What Deal?’

Chester P. NonsenseMay 30, 2026

Donald Trump claims a major Iran peace deal is imminent with sweeping Iranian concessions, as Iran insists no such agreement exists or is even being discussed.

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• Politics

JD Vance Announces Bold Plan for ‘Trump National Golden Dome’ on Every U.S. Military Base by 2025

Gloria HyperboleMay 29, 2026

Vice President J.D. Vance announces the Trump administration’s plan to install massive golden domes on every U.S. military base, citing morale and international prestige.

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• Politics

Judge Rules Mail-In Voting Restrictions Can Proceed, Citing Nation’s Proud Tradition Of Last-Minute Ballot Panic

Penny PunchlineMay 29, 2026

A federal judge in D.C. declined to block President Trump's executive order restricting mail-in voting, allowing the order to proceed for now.

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• Politics

Trump Explains Attacks On Judge’s Family: ‘Was Trying To Bond Over Our Shared Love Of Chaos’

Chester P. NonsenseMay 29, 2026

Donald Trump claims he targeted Judge Merchan’s family in his Mar-a-Lago speech as an attempt at 'chaos-based bonding,' baffling legal experts and delighting loyal supporters.

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• Politics

Trump Accuses Iran Of Using ‘Super Secret Midterm Calendar’ To Outsmart Him; Demands To See Their Day Planner

Chester P. NonsenseMay 28, 2026

President Trump claims Iran is strategically stalling peace negotiations using a 'super secret midterm calendar,' demanding transparency about their scheduling methods.

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• Politics

Pentagon Announces ‘Operation Potomac Overload’: National Guard to Blanket D.C. After Trump Discovers City Exists

Gloria HyperboleMay 28, 2026

Defense officials announce a massive National Guard surge in Washington D.C. after President Trump insists on more troops to secure the capital, leading to widespread confusion and new security measures.

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• Politics

Biden Sues Justice Department to Prevent Public Learning He Referred to Phone as ‘Record Player’ During Interview

Larry LiteralistMay 28, 2026

President Biden sues the Justice Department to prevent audio recordings from his classified documents interview from being released to the public.

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• Politics

Alabama Shocked to Learn Federal Judges Can Read Maps, Intentions

Larry LiteralistMay 27, 2026

A federal court has blocked Alabama from using its newly drawn congressional map, ruling that it intentionally discriminated against Black voters.

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• Politics

Texas Republicans Narrowly Avoid Dueling Pistols in Intra-Party Showdown As Trump Tells Voters to Support ‘Whoever Yells Loudest’

Penny PunchlineMay 27, 2026

Donald Trump endorses Ken Paxton over John Cornyn in a chaotic Texas GOP primary, escalating party infighting and raising concerns about giving Democrats an unexpected edge.

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