• Politics

Trump Endorses Ken Paxton For Texas Senate, Declares ‘Legal Trouble Is the New Patriotism’

Penny PunchlineMay 20, 2026

Donald Trump has endorsed Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton for Senate, praising Paxton’s legal troubles as proof of his loyalty and strength.

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• Politics

Trump Endorses Ken Paxton, Gives Iran Until Monday to Make Deal or Face Unspecified Consequences and Possibly Ballroom Talk

Penny PunchlineMay 20, 2026

Donald Trump endorsed Ken Paxton for Senate in Texas while giving Iran an ambiguous deadline for peace negotiations that may hinge on his personal plans.

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• Politics

Republicans Officially Ditch Democracy, Switch to ‘Whoever Trump Points At’ System for Choosing Candidates

Penny PunchlineMay 19, 2026

After Trump's latest success in Louisiana, the GOP officially adopts a new candidate selection method where Trump simply points at whoever he wants to run.

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• Politics

US Justice System Announces ‘Hire Trump’s Lawyer, Get Out Of Jail Free’ Promotion For Billionaires

Chester P. NonsenseMay 19, 2026

The US dropped fraud charges against Indian billionaire Gautam Adani after he hired Trump's lawyer and offered billions in investment, according to reports.

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• Politics

Trump Unveils $1.7 Billion Compensation Fund for Americans Traumatized by Reading Mean Tweets About Him

Gloria HyperboleMay 19, 2026

Donald Trump creates a $1.7 billion compensation fund for Americans who claim to be emotionally harmed by negative coverage of him, sparking outrage and confusion across the political spectrum.

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• Politics

US Drops Fraud Charges Against Billionaire Adani After Discovering He Hired Someone With ‘The Best Legal Words’

Veronica TruthbombMay 18, 2026

The US Department of Justice dropped fraud charges against billionaire Gautam Adani after he hired Donald Trump’s personal attorney and promised billions in US investments.

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• Politics

Boebert Blames Trump for Blocking Colorado Clean Water, Exposing Tina Peters to Dangerous Fluoride Levels

Veronica TruthbombMay 18, 2026

Lauren Boebert alleges that Donald Trump blocked funding for Colorado's clean water project, leading Governor Polis to commute election denier Tina Peters’ sentence out of concern for her well-being.

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• Politics

Trump Accuses Massie of Inventing ‘Reverse Loyalty’ and Demands Kentucky Hold Immediate Loyalty Oath Ceremony

Chester P. NonsenseMay 18, 2026

Donald Trump intensifies his attacks on Congressman Thomas Massie, urging Kentucky Republicans to demand public loyalty oaths ahead of a fiercely contested primary.

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• Politics

Colorado Governor Commutes Tina Peters’ Sentence After Trump’s Psychic Veto of Clean Water Project, Claims Boebert With Straight Face

Gloria HyperboleMay 17, 2026

Colorado Gov. Jared Polis commutes Tina Peters' sentence after Donald Trump allegedly blocks funding for a non-existent clean water project using psychic powers, according to Rep. Lauren Boebert.

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• Politics

Louisiana Senator Faces Difficult Reelection After Failing to Pledge Blood Oath to Trump, Opponent Swears Fealty on Live TV

Gloria HyperboleMay 17, 2026

Senator Bill Cassidy faces a tough primary challenge in Louisiana after failing to pledge unwavering loyalty to Donald Trump, who has endorsed his opponent Julia Letlow.

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