• Entertainment

Paramount Increases Hostile Bid For Warner Bros Discovery, Offers $100 Billion And One Shrek DVD

Buck MulliganDecember 9, 2025

Paramount escalates Hollywood's bidding wars by launching a $108.4 billion hostile takeover of Warner Bros Discovery, outdoing Netflix’s $82.7 billion offer and sparking industry-wide chaos.

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• Sport

Trump Announces 2026 World Cup to Feature Penalty Shootouts at Mar-a-Lago, Orange Ballots for Goals

Buck MulliganDecember 9, 2025

Donald Trump reportedly partners with FIFA to give the 2026 World Cup a 'MAGA makeover,' including Mar-a-Lago shootouts and orange ballots for scoring.

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• Technology

Square Announces ‘Penny Disposal Fee’ to Aid Small Businesses in Post-Penny Apocalypse

Buck MulliganDecember 9, 2025

Square launches a new service to help businesses dispose of obsolete pennies, charges a fee for rounding up, and touts AI-powered solutions for the post-penny era.

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• Economy

Queensland Museum’s Climate Curriculum Sponsored by Shell Reveals Shocking New Cause of Global Warming: ‘Mysterious Hot Air’

Buck MulliganDecember 8, 2025

Queensland Museum’s Shell-sponsored education program omits fossil fuel burning as a major cause of climate change, instead attributing global warming to 'mysterious hot air' and other ambiguous factors.

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• Sport

Gamers Defend Right To Play Bad Video Game ‘Horses,’ Insist Suffering Is Core To Artistic Experience

Buck MulliganDecember 7, 2025

The controversial, critically panned video game 'Horses' becomes a viral bestseller after its high-profile bans, as gamers unite to defend their right to play games widely regarded as unenjoyable.

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• Politics

Jimmy Kimmel Celebrates Historic Google Surge After Trump Forgets to Log Out of Incognito Mode

Buck MulliganDecember 6, 2025

Jimmy Kimmel credits Donald Trump's relentless late-night Google searches for making him one of the world's top trending people in 2025.

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• Politics

US Institute of Peace Rebranded as ‘Trump Institute of Absolute Winning’, Staff Encouraged to Replace Olive Branches with Gold-Plated Baseball Bats

Buck MulliganDecember 5, 2025

The US Institute of Peace has been renamed after Donald Trump and rebranded with his signature style, despite ongoing legal disputes over control of the organization.

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• Sport

FIFA Announces Peace Prize, Entrusts Selection to Myanmar Arms Dealer Who Once Meditated for Three Minutes

Buck MulliganDecember 5, 2025

FIFA launches a new peace prize, with future winners to be chosen by a businessman close to Myanmar's junta, raising eyebrows about the award's independence.

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• Politics

Trump Pardons ‘Cocaine Superhighway’ Architect in Heartfelt Gesture Toward International Infrastructure Innovation

Buck MulliganDecember 4, 2025

Donald Trump pardons ex-Honduran president and convicted cocaine trafficker Juan Orlando Hernández, praising his logistical prowess as Honduras faces a razor-thin election result.

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• Sport

Indie Horror Game ‘Horses’ Banned from All Major Platforms for Being ‘Too Unsettling,’ Still Allowed at Grandma’s House

Buck MulliganDecember 4, 2025

Indie horror game ‘Horses’ is banned by major online game stores for violating opaque policies, but finds unexpected success on GOG and at the developer’s grandmother’s house.

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