• Entertainment

‘Legend of Aang: The Last Airbender’ Heroically Skips Theaters To Prevent Moviegoers’ Unnecessary Leg Exercise

Penny PunchlineDecember 24, 2025

Paramount’s new ‘Legend of Aang: The Last Airbender’ film will skip theaters and debut exclusively on Paramount+, to the probable relief of fans unwilling to leave their living rooms.

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• Technology

Desperate Americans Settle for Two-Year-Old Headphones in Last-Minute Bid to Avoid Holiday Shame

Penny PunchlineDecember 23, 2025

Americans resort to buying heavily discounted, two-year-old Beats headphones as last-minute gifts to avoid holiday embarrassment and repair strained family bonds.

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• Sport

Seattle Mariners Pitcher Who Made Being a Trade Footnote a Fine Art Leaves Baseball World Wondering Who Will Now Be Included in Blockbuster Deals

Penny PunchlineDecember 21, 2025

Former Seattle Mariners pitcher Mike Campbell, best remembered as the forgotten player included in the trade for Randy Johnson, has died at age 61.

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• Entertainment

Peacock Launches ‘Bugonia’ to Target Elusive Demographic of Paranoid CEOs Kidnapped by Conspiracy Theorists

Penny PunchlineDecember 20, 2025

Peacock will stream Emma Stone’s latest thriller 'Bugonia,' targeting viewers interested in stories about CEOs kidnapped by conspiracy theorists.

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• Politics

Tennessee Sheriff Declares All Facebook Memes Potential Weapons, Urges Citizens to Report Dankness

Penny PunchlineDecember 19, 2025

A Tennessee man sues his county after being jailed for 37 days for posting a meme about Charlie Kirk, alleging a violation of his First Amendment rights.

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• Sport

L.A. Siblings Broaden Definition of ‘Sharing’: Rams Star’s Brother Allegedly Borrows Lakers Player’s SUV Without Asking, Promises to Fill Up the Tank Later

Penny PunchlineDecember 19, 2025

Samson Nacua, brother of L.A. Rams star Puka Nacua, was arrested for allegedly stealing a Lakers player's SUV in West Hollywood.

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• Entertainment

Nation Demands Answers: Why Has Domhnall Gleeson Not Been Awarded For Playing Every Known Human Emotion?

Penny PunchlineDecember 19, 2025

Domhnall Gleeson receives his first major Hollywood award, prompting widespread confusion over how someone who's played every possible character hasn't already won everything.

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• Economy

Former Mayor Claims Electromagnetic Bracelet Cured His Epilepsy, Cancer, Lack Of Military Service

Penny PunchlineDecember 19, 2025

Queensland's former Townsville mayor Troy Thompson promoted a wellness bracelet for illnesses he was never diagnosed with, sparking a corruption probe into his imaginative medical claims.

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• Politics

Top Trump Aide Describes Trump As ‘Alcoholic’s Personality’, Musk As ‘Odd Duck’, Nation Wonders Who’s Next on Animal Farm Comparison Chart

Penny PunchlineDecember 18, 2025

Top Trump aide Susie Wiles describes Donald Trump as having an 'alcoholic's personality' and Elon Musk as an 'odd duck' in a Vanity Fair interview, prompting widespread speculation about future animal-themed political diagnoses.

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• Technology

SwitchBot Unveils New Robovac Capable of Cleaning Spaces So Small Even Your Will to Live Can Hide There

Penny PunchlineDecember 18, 2025

SwitchBot's new K11 Plus robot vacuum, small enough to clean the tiniest nooks in your home and psyche, goes on sale for $179.99.

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