• Politics

FBI Raids Mar-a-Lago After Finding ‘Suspicious Amounts of Golf Tees’ and ‘Probable Cause Vibes’

Penny PunchlineDecember 17, 2025

Recently released emails show the FBI moved forward with the 2022 Mar-a-Lago raid despite unclear probable cause, reportedly due to pressure from the Biden Justice Department.

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• Entertainment

Spielberg’s ‘Disclosure Day’ Trailer Leaves Viewers Eerily Nostalgic For Simpler Days Of Regular Alien Abductions

Penny PunchlineDecember 17, 2025

The first trailer for Steven Spielberg's new film 'Disclosure Day' baffles audiences with mysterious trances, cryptic clicking noises, and a promise that real disclosure will be even more confusing than alien abduction.

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• Politics

Chile’s Presidential Frontrunner Vows to Build Six Walls, Just in Case Migrants Can Jump Really High

Penny PunchlineDecember 16, 2025

Presidential frontrunner José Antonio Kast pledges to build six border walls to keep out migrants, sparking debate and inspiring infrastructure-themed campaign promises.

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• Economy

Rothschild Family Feud Threatens To Split Louvre In Half Like Solomon’s Baby, Art Historians Bracing For Picasso Custody Battle

Penny PunchlineDecember 15, 2025

Long-simmering inheritance tensions in the Rothschild family have erupted into a court battle over an enormous art collection, with rival baronesses Nadine and Ariane de Rothschild fighting for control over the Swiss chateau’s priceless trove.

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• Politics

Congressional Map Fight Escalates as Indiana Senate Proposes ‘Twister-Style’ District Boundaries

Penny PunchlineDecember 13, 2025

Indiana Senate rejects a GOP congressional map and instead proposes using 'Twister'-style games and random spins to determine new district boundaries amid the escalating redistricting fight.

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• Entertainment

Emma Stone To Surpass Meryl Streep And Walt Disney, Eyes Next Feat: Winning Oscar For Playing Herself Accepting Oscars

Penny PunchlineDecember 13, 2025

Emma Stone is poised to break major Oscar records with her double nominations for 'Bugonia,' potentially surpassing Meryl Streep and closing in on Walt Disney's legendary status.

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• Entertainment

Disney Assures Creatives They’ll Continue Being Ignored by Actual Humans, Not Just AI

Penny PunchlineDecember 12, 2025

Disney claims its new OpenAI partnership poses no risk to creative workers, promising to maintain tradition by disregarding their input manually.

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• Politics

Tufts Student’s Visa Revoked After Research Deemed ‘Too Interesting,’ Federal Agents Cite Dangerous Levels of Student Participation

Penny PunchlineDecember 10, 2025

A Tufts PhD student from Turkey is allowed to resume her research and teaching after a federal judge overturned the Trump administration’s revocation of her visa following her pro-Palestinian activism.

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• Economy

China Relieved to Learn Trillion-Dollar Trade Surplus Can at Least Buy Enough Bubble Wrap for 2025 Shipments

Penny PunchlineDecember 10, 2025

China’s record trade surplus surpasses $1 trillion, prompting officials to celebrate their ability to buy more packing materials while quietly worrying about their overwhelming dependence on foreign markets.

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• Technology

Pebble Unveils $75 AI Ring That Lets You Forget You Ever Tried Remembering Things in the First Place

Penny PunchlineDecember 10, 2025

Pebble’s founder launches the Index 01, a $75 AI-powered ring that records voice notes on demand and promises to relieve users of ever needing to remember anything again.

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