• Economy

Malawi Economy Flourishes As Thousands Discover ‘Protest Day Off’ More Profitable Than Actually Working

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 15, 2026

Thousands of Malawian business owners closed their shops in major cities to protest new tax rules, forcing the government to delay implementation of the measures.

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• Economy

Startup Cohere Proves Value of AI by Amassing $240 Million Worth of Mysterious Vague Business Deals

Buck MulliganFebruary 14, 2026

Canadian AI company Cohere exceeded $240 million in annual recurring revenue, riding a wave of enterprise demand for opaque but lucrative AI solutions as it eyes a potential IPO.

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• Economy

Billionaire Demands Immigrants Stop Draining State Funds Reserved for Struggling Billionaires

Penny PunchlineFebruary 13, 2026

Billionaire Jim Ratcliffe criticizes immigrants for costing the UK too much while simultaneously lobbying for hundreds of millions in public funding for his struggling company.

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• Economy

Commonwealth Bank Breaks Profit Records After Discovering Australians Will Happily Mortgage Their Future for a 2-Bedroom Bungalow

Buck MulliganFebruary 12, 2026

Commonwealth Bank posts record profits as investors flood the housing market, leaving ordinary Australians to compete for rental applications and crawlspaces.

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• Economy

Israel Launches Bold Initiative To Solve West Bank Conflict By Making Everyone Else Angry Instead

Larry LiteralistFebruary 11, 2026

Israel announced new West Bank measures that sparked immediate and widespread international condemnation from major allies and the global community.

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• Economy

Malawi Economy Soars As Businesses Discover Not Working Far More Profitable Than Paying Taxes

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 10, 2026

Malawian business owners shut down thousands of shops in protest over new tax policies, prompting officials to delay implementation.

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• Economy

French Institute Shocked to Learn 86-Year-Old Has Even Heard of Jeffrey Epstein, Much Less Befriended Him

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 9, 2026

Jack Lang resigned from the Arab World Institute after his connections to Jeffrey Epstein and financial irregularities were exposed.

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• Economy

Kent Council Announces Impressive £40 Million Net Zero Savings By Imagining Really Hard

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 8, 2026

Kent County Council claimed £40m in net zero savings by listing hypothetical, undocumented projects as real achievements.

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• Economy

Police Raid Peter Mandelson’s Homes in Search of Rare Commodity: Unleaked Secrets

Veronica TruthbombFebruary 7, 2026

Metropolitan Police searched Peter Mandelson's homes in London and Wiltshire for evidence of market-sensitive leaks to Jeffrey Epstein, but reportedly found little other than burner phones and questionable documents.

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• Economy

Michigan Sues Big Oil for Monopoly on Climate Change, Demands Equal Opportunity for State to Cause Global Warming

Penny PunchlineFebruary 6, 2026

Michigan has filed a lawsuit accusing major oil companies and a top lobbying group of acting as a climate-crisis cartel, seeking damages for both environmental and financial impacts.

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