• Economy

Britons Celebrate Holiday Cheer By Taking Out Personal Loans To Afford Tinsel, Debt Collectors Dressed As Elves

Chester P. NonsenseJanuary 6, 2026

UK households borrowed an additional £2.1bn in consumer credit in November, marking the fastest annual increase in nearly two years amid rising holiday spending.

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• Economy

Global Economy to Be Propped Up Entirely by Hopes, Prayers, and Elon Musk’s Tweets, Forecasts 2026 Market Report

Gloria HyperboleJanuary 5, 2026

Analysts predict a bullish 2026 global economy, despite widespread fears over an AI-driven market bubble and uncertainty about the future direction of the US Federal Reserve.

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• Economy

Iranian Regime Shaken as Protesters Threaten to Topple Government by Refusing to Buy State-Approved Raisins

Penny PunchlineJanuary 4, 2026

Iranians protest the regime’s weakness by boycotting state-approved raisins, sparking fears the government could soon face a snack-fueled revolution.

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• Economy

‘Real Housewives’ Star Revealed to Be Running Ordinary American Mega-Church, Experts Livid at Lack of Innovation

Buck MulliganJanuary 3, 2026

A new TLC docuseries reveals 'Real Housewives' star Mary Cosby is accused of running a standard-issue exploitative church operation, disappointing cult experts with its lack of innovation.

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• Economy

Area Trucker’s Bank Robbery Foiled After Semi-Truck Proves Unsuitable Getaway Vehicle Yet Again

Larry LiteralistJanuary 2, 2026

A North Carolina trucker allegedly robbed a bank with a fake bomb and fled the scene in his own semi-truck, leading to a slow-speed police chase before being arrested.

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• Economy

Australian Economy Braces for 2026 as Inflation, Precious Metals, and AI Compete to Ruin Everyone’s Day First

Buck MulliganJanuary 1, 2026

Amid soaring metal prices, stubborn inflation, and a booming AI sector, the Australian economy prepares for another unpredictable year as experts and citizens alike debate which crisis will prove most annoying.

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• Economy

Jhoots Pharmacy Promises To Settle Debts As Soon As It Finds That One Missing Paracetamol Packet Worth £670,000

Larry LiteralistDecember 31, 2025

Struggling pharmacy chain Jhoots faces insolvency after failing to pay locum pharmacists £670,000, prompting court action by Lloyds Bank.

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• Economy

Cryptocurrency Market Tanks After Trump Tweets ‘Bitcoin Good,’ Investors Realize That’s the Whole Plan

Larry LiteralistDecember 30, 2025

Cryptocurrency markets collapsed after a Trump tweet and tariff announcement shattered investor confidence, wiping out $1 trillion in digital asset value despite record-high bitcoin prices.

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• Economy

Malaysian Prison Constructs Luxury Wing to Accommodate Former PM Najib Razak’s Growing Sentence Collection

Penny PunchlineDecember 29, 2025

Former Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak receives an additional 15-year prison sentence in the ongoing 1MDB scandal, significantly increasing his current term.

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• Economy

Former Malaysian PM Najib Razak Awarded ‘Buy 15 Years, Get 6 Free’ Prison Sentence in Nation’s Longest Running Loyalty Program

Buck MulliganDecember 28, 2025

Former Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak receives an additional 15-year prison sentence for his role in the 1MDB scandal, substantially increasing his previous term.

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