• Politics

Elon Musk Announces Revolutionary New App: ‘Racist Posting Scheduler’ for Busy Billionaires on the Go

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 4, 2025

Elon Musk launches a 'Racist Posting Scheduler' app to automate inflammatory posts on X, promising to streamline the process of sharing far-right conspiracy theories and racist commentary.

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• Politics

Trump-Musk Friendship Derailed After Dispute Over ‘Big Beautiful Bill’, DOGE Space Casino Proposal

Larry LiteralistDecember 3, 2025

Donald Trump and Elon Musk's friendship reportedly ended following disagreements over major legislation and a proposal for a Dogecoin-funded space casino.

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• Politics

Trump Vows to Invade Any Country That Even Thinks About Advil

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 3, 2025

President Trump announces the U.S. will militarily target any country he suspects of producing drugs, including common pharmaceuticals, in an expanded war on drugs.

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• Politics

Trump Celebrates ‘Giant Step for Border Security’ by Releasing Convicted Drug Kingpin in Exchange for ‘Really Tremendous’ Election Vibes in Honduras

Gloria HyperboleDecember 3, 2025

Donald Trump pardons Honduran ex-president and convicted drug trafficker Juan Orlando Hernández, releasing him from U.S. prison just as a close Honduran election hangs in the balance.

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• Politics

Court Shocked to Discover Trump’s Lawyer Had No Idea She Was Running New Jersey’s Federal Prosecutor Office

Veronica TruthbombDecember 2, 2025

An appeals court has ruled that Alina Habba, Trump’s former lawyer, is disqualified from serving as New Jersey’s top federal prosecutor after discovering she lacks the necessary legal experience.

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• Politics

Trump Nominates Fox Host as Secretary of Defense, Denies Ordering Second Strike on ‘Suspiciously Wet Boat’

Buck MulliganDecember 2, 2025

In a bizarre turn, Trump endorsed Fox's Pete Hegseth for Defense Secretary while denying he ordered a second strike on a suspicious boat, as the Pentagon insists Hegseth lacks authority to deploy anything but opinions.

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• Politics

Kathy Griffin Reunites America By Becoming First Human Bridge Between Liberals and Trumpers, Announces Groundbreaking ‘Bloody Photo Forgiveness Tour’

Gloria HyperboleDecember 2, 2025

Comedian Kathy Griffin announces she has befriended Trump supporters and will launch a national tour focused on forgiveness and unity after her infamous 2017 Trump photo controversy.

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• Politics

Trump Issues Dire Warning to Honduran Voters: ‘Wrong Choice Means No More Aid, No More Big Macs’

Buck MulliganDecember 1, 2025

President Trump threatens to cut U.S. aid to Honduras if his preferred candidate Nasry 'Tito' Asfura loses the national election, leading to confusion, anxiety, and sudden surges in fast food purchases among Honduran voters.

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• Politics

Kai Trump Reveals Secret to Surviving Internet Trolls: ‘Inherited Unshakable Self-Esteem, Plus Muting Half the Country’

Penny PunchlineDecember 1, 2025

Kai Trump explains that she deals with negative social media comments through unwavering self-confidence, a supportive family, and selectively blocking critics.

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• Politics

DHS Unveils ‘Self-Policing Toolkit’ Featuring Mirror, Shrug Emoji, and Bag of Shrugs

Veronica TruthbombDecember 1, 2025

The Department of Homeland Security dismantles its civil rights watchdog division, replacing oversight with a 'Self-Policing Toolkit' that encourages agents to reflect by shrugging at complaints.

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