• Politics

Epstein Files To Be Released, But Only As Heavily Redacted Adult Coloring Books

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 20, 2025

The Justice Department agrees to release the Epstein files but only as a heavily redacted coloring book, drawing bipartisan criticism and confusion.

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• Politics

Federal Judge Unceremoniously Yeets Trump-Backed Lawsuit at Supreme Court Chief Justice, Shocks Conservatives Who Expected Lawsuit To Win by Sheer Volume Alone

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 20, 2025

A federal judge has dismissed a Trump-backed lawsuit seeking to target Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, in a setback for Trump allies challenging the judiciary.

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• Politics

Farage Narrowly Escapes Justice After Police Realize Calendar, Not Law, Prevents Prosecution

Veronica TruthbombDecember 19, 2025

Nigel Farage avoids a police investigation into alleged campaign spending violations after authorities declare too much time has passed for prosecution, while the Electoral Commission considers looking into the matter.

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• Politics

Tennessee Sheriff Declares All Facebook Memes Potential Weapons, Urges Citizens to Report Dankness

Penny PunchlineDecember 19, 2025

A Tennessee man sues his county after being jailed for 37 days for posting a meme about Charlie Kirk, alleging a violation of his First Amendment rights.

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• Politics

White House Announces Sweepstakes: ‘Win a Third Trump Term for Your Country!’

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 19, 2025

The White House has announced a sweepstakes giving Americans the chance to win President Trump a constitutionally-defying third term, citing national good fortune as a compelling legal argument.

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• Politics

‘Trump 2.0’ Campaign Manager Reveals Winning Strategy: Try Turning the Country Off and On Again

Veronica TruthbombDecember 18, 2025

Trump's chief of staff Susie Wiles reveals the new campaign strategy and inner workings of the operation, including grudge-fueled management techniques and a Venezuela policy possibly inspired by beauty pageants.

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• Politics

Trump Announces Plan to Build Massive Sea Wall Around Venezuela, Hopes Oil Will Pay For It

Buck MulliganDecember 18, 2025

President Trump unveiled plans to blockade Venezuelan oil with a floating sea wall, insisting Venezuela pay for it and igniting international debate.

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• Politics

Top Trump Aide Describes Trump As ‘Alcoholic’s Personality’, Musk As ‘Odd Duck’, Nation Wonders Who’s Next on Animal Farm Comparison Chart

Penny PunchlineDecember 18, 2025

Top Trump aide Susie Wiles describes Donald Trump as having an 'alcoholic's personality' and Elon Musk as an 'odd duck' in a Vanity Fair interview, prompting widespread speculation about future animal-themed political diagnoses.

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• Politics

South African Men Express Shock as ‘Personal Development Course’ in Russia Consists Largely of Dodge-the-Drone Drills

Larry LiteralistDecember 17, 2025

South African men who signed up for a supposed personal development course in Russia are now stranded fighting in Ukraine and calling for government intervention.

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• Politics

FBI Raids Mar-a-Lago After Finding ‘Suspicious Amounts of Golf Tees’ and ‘Probable Cause Vibes’

Penny PunchlineDecember 17, 2025

Recently released emails show the FBI moved forward with the 2022 Mar-a-Lago raid despite unclear probable cause, reportedly due to pressure from the Biden Justice Department.

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