• Technology

Microsoft Announces Xbox Leadership Departures, Will Now Decide Future of Gaming by Magic 8-Ball

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 24, 2026

Xbox leaders Phil Spencer and Sarah Bond announce their departures from Microsoft, leaving the company’s gaming division to be led by CoreAI president Asha Sharma and possibly a Magic 8-Ball.

Read more

• Technology

Americans Prepare for Black Friday in March as Pixel 10A Launches with Free $100 That You Must Spend on More Gadgets

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 23, 2026

Google's release of the Pixel 10A with a $100 gift card has sparked nationwide excitement and led consumers to reevaluate the true price of owning basic electronics.

Read more

• Technology

Nation’s Readers Celebrate Annual E-Reader Olympics: Kindle Paperwhite Wins Gold For Allowing Consumers To Buy More Books They Won’t Read

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 22, 2026

The Kindle Paperwhite is crowned the best e-reader for helping consumers accumulate digital libraries of unread books, as competitors introduce ever-more features to further distract readers from actually finishing anything.

Read more

• Technology

AI Summit in Delhi Features Billionaire Tech Leaders, Ambitious Global South Raffle for Scrap Algorithms

Veronica TruthbombFebruary 21, 2026

Tech billionaires and Global South leaders gather in Delhi for an AI summit, where developing nations compete for hand-me-down technology and ceremonial algorithm scraps.

Read more

• Technology

AI Researchers Now Seeking Jobs That Offer More Existential Dread Than Stock Options

Larry LiteralistFebruary 20, 2026

AI companies are losing top researchers to existential dread, artistic pursuits, and promises of deeper philosophical crises rather than higher pay.

Read more

• Technology

Google Pixel 10A Preorders Sweetened With $100 Gift Card, Pocket-Sized Existential Crisis

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 19, 2026

Google offers a $100 gift card and other incentives to customers who preorder the nearly indistinguishable Pixel 10A, further perpetuating the annual cycle of minorly upgraded smartphones.

Read more

• Technology

Local Man Unleashes Untold Levels of Gaming Mediocrity with Slightly Discounted Alienware QD-OLED Monitor

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 18, 2026

A gamer celebrates buying a modestly discounted Alienware monitor, convinced it will finally improve his skills and overall life, despite minimal actual impact.

Read more

• Technology

Nation Unites To Honor Founding Fathers by Buying 400-Inch TVs and Robot Vacuums They Don’t Need

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 17, 2026

Americans commemorate Presidents Day by aggressively shopping for discounted electronics, robot vacuums, and other gadgets in a patriotic spending frenzy.

Read more

• Technology

Americans Honor Legacy of Washington by Purchasing 144-Inch OLED TV for 11% Off

Buck MulliganFebruary 16, 2026

Americans across the country mark Presidents Day by purchasing discounted electronics, firmly believing it's how the Founding Fathers intended the holiday to be observed.

Read more

• Technology

Nation’s Marriages Saved By USB-C Cable That Lets Couples Charge Two Devices, Hopes and Dreams Simultaneously

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 15, 2026

Anker's new dual-headed USB-C charging cable is being credited with dramatically improving the state of American marriages by allowing couples to charge two devices at once, ending years of domestic strife.

Read more