• Entertainment

Disney Names Next CEO: Guy Who Once Survived Four Consecutive Rides on ‘It’s a Small World’

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 4, 2026

Disney announces Josh D’Amaro as its next CEO, following a mythical selection process involving theme park tests and corporate pageantry.

Read more

• Entertainment

Hollywood Honored for ‘Courageously’ Retelling Polanski Scandal From Slightly Less Terrible Perspective This Time

Larry LiteralistFebruary 3, 2026

The new film 'The Girl' will retell the Roman Polanski rape scandal from the perspective of victim Samantha Geimer, prompting Hollywood to cautiously praise the novel approach of letting the victim speak.

Read more

• Entertainment

Amazon Celebrates Melania Documentary’s Historic $7M Box Office, Only $68M Away From Breaking Even

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 2, 2026

Amazon's Melania Trump documentary earns $7 million on opening weekend but falls $68 million short of profitability after massive production and marketing costs.

Read more

• Entertainment

Doomsday Clock Now 85 Seconds to Midnight, Officially Lost in Quantum Realm Where Schrödinger’s Cat Runs Time

Penny PunchlineFebruary 1, 2026

The Doomsday Clock has advanced from 100 to 85 seconds to midnight, entering a baffling quantum realm where time behaves like Schrödinger's cat—both ticking and not ticking simultaneously. Scientists admit reality and apocalypse are now in superposition, leaving humanity perpetually on edge and utterly confused.

Read more

• Entertainment

‘Melania: The Documentary’ Leaves Viewers Speechless, Possibly Due to Extended Scenes of Silent Gazing

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 1, 2026

A new documentary about Melania Trump stuns premiere audiences with its extended scenes of silent introspection, as its producer defends her legacy against years of unfair media coverage.

Read more

• Entertainment

‘Send Help’ Film Title Misinterpreted as Actual Plea, Moviegoers Flock to Cinemas Out of Sheer Concern

Gloria HyperboleJanuary 31, 2026

Sam Raimi’s new horror movie 'Send Help' draws unexpectedly high preview attendance as thousands misinterpret the film’s title as an actual distress call.

Read more

• Entertainment

New Netflix-Warner Bros Deal Requires All TVs To Play Red ‘N’ White Intro Sound On Startup, No Exceptions

Veronica TruthbombJanuary 30, 2026

Netflix and Warner Bros.' new partnership will require every TV to auto-play the Netflix intro and feature multiple Netflix-focused buttons, further cementing the streaming giant's dominance over home entertainment.

Read more

• Entertainment

Noah Kahan Drops Fourth Album ‘The Great Divide,’ Promises to Heal Nation by Making Everyone Equally Sad

Gloria HyperboleJanuary 29, 2026

Noah Kahan announces his fourth album, ‘The Great Divide,’ promising to unite Americans through shared emotional devastation and record-breaking levels of pensive brooding.

Read more

• Entertainment

Melissa Gilbert Breaks Five-Minute Silence as Hollywood Launches ‘Least Problematic Actor’ Lottery After Busfield Arrest

Gloria HyperboleJanuary 28, 2026

Melissa Gilbert issues public remarks following husband Timothy Busfield’s arrest, as Hollywood scrambles to find a single actor with an unblemished reputation.

Read more

• Entertainment

Judd Apatow Pays Tribute to Rob Reiner, Who Is Very Much Alive, At Mel Brooks Premiere: ‘His Absence From This Room is a Tragedy’

Penny PunchlineJanuary 27, 2026

Judd Apatow paid emotional tribute to Rob Reiner, who is very much alive, at the Mel Brooks documentary premiere after mistakenly commemorating his absence as a tragic loss.

Read more